Hilarious Scuba Diving Jokes & Puns

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Hilarious Scuba Diving Jokes & Puns

As scuba divers, we’re no stranger to being the subject of a joke. Whether you’re a scuba diver yourself and are looking for some self-deprecating material, or you’re a friend of a diver and want some new jokes to go-in on your buddy, then we’ve got the ever-growing collection right here!

Here’s a list of the funniest and best scuba diving jokes… ever!


– What do scuba divers use as birth control?

Their personalities

– Why don’t scuba divers play hide and seek with sharks?

The shark always wins!

– How many scuba instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but he has to have the proper certification first.

– What’s a scuba diver’s favorite pick up line?

Hey, baby! Want to see my giant urchin?

– What do you call a scuba diver on a skateboard?

A scuba boarder.

– Why don’t scuba divers eat bananas?

They can come out the other end too fast!

– What is black and yellow, has two fins and smells like fresh fish?

The best darned swimmer in town – an octopus.

– What scuba gear do you need to become a human battery?

A scuba mask and snorkel.

– How deep can scuba divers go before they hit water?

Only 16 inches!

– Why is being a scuba diver like getting married?

You want to marry them when they’re down there but you don’t want to live with them up there on land.

– Why do scuba divers keep getting air bubbles in their beer?

They can’t hold their lager!

– What’s the difference between scuba diving and standing up really fast after eating something that has been sitting on your stomach for hours?

At least with scuba diving you get some fresh air.


Keep a lookout for this list of hilarious scuba diving jokes as it evolves!